Model #4

Our most recent model, Grant, produced March of 2006 is quite the explorer. Looking almost exactly like model #1 (at age 2) he is a very efficient producer of . . . trouble. Busier than all the other models put together this model causes just as much pain as he does joy to the entire family. He is often found pushing chairs up to counters and getting spices and other ingredients out of the cupboard (which he intends to dump into bowls in the basement), operating the sewing machine, turning on the water in the bathroom and filling the sink with soap, cleaning the toilet, jumping off the table and any other surface he can find, and leaving the house through the side door to get to our neighbor's trampoline. Where are his producers you ask? Typically, sitting back studying these unexpected behaviors behind the locked bathroom door with candy bar in hand. These behaviors have caused field engineers to bar the side door with furniture, store every machine, electronic device and tool available (including the drill). They are also considering putting all the chairs on top of the kitchen table (in school fashion) but are concerned what alternative trouble he will get into. Producers have found that putting this model to work peeling carrots, washing dishes, scrubbing floors and folding laundry actually reduces some of these more troublesome behaviors.

Besides making messes Grant spends much of his time discovering new (entertaining) things, making everyone laugh. He likes to squat down like a frog and walk around the house when he thinks no one is looking, rides around the house on lego truck skates (pictured) and sings "we will wok you." When asked to "hop into bed real quick" he takes off galloping saying, "hop, hop, hop" all the way to his room. Instead of the classic "no" he prefers saying "uh uh" causing much amusement to his Aunt Diana. He also insists on saying every prayer over meals, gives hugs and kisses when he's not in the mood to throw toys at those around him, and can sometimes be found sitting still holding his silk, sucking his thumb.

Fuel Source: reading on the couch, "wips" (chips), "ditdees" cookies, "nandy" (candy), lullabies and the silk--orange in color at present.

The Five Love Languages of Children

I had to include this picture, though it really has nothing to do with this book. When I told Grant to kiss our friend Kylie (visiting from Massachusetts) I fully expected it to be a cheek kiss. Must have been Kylie's idea.

The Five Love Languages of Children gets five stars from me--what a mind expanding book. I realize The Five Love Languages has been out for quite a long time but this book applies specifically to children. So all the stories and ideas are about kids. I've tried to figure out what my kids' love languages are and it really has helped me to realize that I can never be equal with them since their needs are all so different--what a relief. As I've tried to do more than hug and say "I love you" its amazing how much happier they are. Authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell explain that everyone has a "love tank" that can be filled by all of these love languages but if you don't use the child's more prominent love language their tank will never be filled which will often lead to misbehavior and unhappiness. These are the Five Love Languages:

• Quality Time--games, walks, reading stories
• Words of Affirmation--notes, compliments, comments on blogs
• Gifts--anything
• Acts of Service--do I need to expand here
• Physical Touch--includes high fives, wrestling, pats on the back

So what's your love language?

All Stitched Up

Associated Press--Jordan, from the Brewers was struck with a baseball on Saturday while at bat. The ball slid right under his helmet, popping the lens out of his glasses and realigning his frames. His mom and dad were unable to move for a few seconds until his dad (who had their youngest in a headlock in order to keep him from breaking his neck while jumping off the bleachers) said, "Jamie go help him." Always quick to obey, she rushed to his side and found him badly wounded. A standby parent, apparently the medical type said, "it looks like he'll need stitches, trust me I know." That comment encouraged louder sobs from the wounded. The family went to the nearest InstaCare, saving themselves at least $100 and 2 hours that they would have spent in the emergency room.

With his mother at his side Jordan bravely prepped for stitches. While waiting for the topical numbing solution to work Jordan decided it would be better to have his father, who had stitches as a boy, with him. Jamie sat in the waiting room watching a movie with Alex and Kaite while Grant rearranged garbage cans and tried to operate the elevator. At last the boys emerged from the office, Jordan with 4 blue stitches and Carl white as a ghost, holding a juice box. Jamie exclaimed, "Why did we let you do that, I totally forgot." Yes even great women sometimes forget about their husband's inability to stomach needles. Jamie, who was disappointed not to be able to see the stitching process, had forgotten the many times her excellent husband was not able to witness a needle stick, including during all her labors (we're talking IV antibiotics). Shockingly, she even forgot the time when they were engaged and Carl said, "Please don't donate anymore plasma." Apparently it made him sick to pick her up from that location. Carl has been known to butcher rabbits and birth calves and pigs without even batting an eye but needles and humans are a completely different story. Jordan summed up the situation saying, "Mom, I guess you'll have to go with me next time I need stitches."

CLEAVERMETER

We had our 2nd peace council last Sunday. The other one (see May 28 in archive) went so well that I decided to keep that hot/cold theme up. I drew a thermometer and called it the Cleavermeter (I'd post the picture but it was just pencil on a white paper--nothing special.) We talked about what kind of warm (positive) things we can do to move the temperature up in our home. The kids had great ideas like:

encouraging instead of bossing

giving compliments

saying "sure" when mom asks you to do something

patting people on the back or giving fives instead of pestering saying nice things even if someone says or does something mean to you

Jordan (always the thinker) said, "well, we don't want it to get too hot in the house." On the contrary we want it as warm as possible--boiling even.

We talked about things that might make the temperature really cold. They decided they would shiver at each other if one's behavior was getting a little too cold. So far its worked pretty well. Alex, after cleaning his room without being asked, (totally out of character) said yesterday, "Mom, I'm way, way up." Yep, he was pretty high on the Cleavernmeter. They really have been nicer to each other since the institution of the Cleavermeter. Its also been nice for me to ask myself, "how high am I on the Cleavermeter."

These kinds of good moments don't happen at our house all that often but its so nice to see these guys excited about something new.

Just to clarify: I'm not much like June Cleaver but I would really like to be good about making our home a happy environment where everyone wants to be more than anywhere else. I love the thought of being on top of housework and looking my best all the time. Every once in a while I have a good idea about something and so those are the things I will be posting but other than that I'm just a plain old, scatter-brained girl that makes mistakes left and right. I just hope people who don't really know me very well and are reading this don't think that I have it all together. I'm just normal wanting to be better.

MODEL #3 BUDDY BOY

Model #3 Buddy Boy, a.k.a Alex, passed his 5th birthday this year and is full of surprises. We've mentioned our recent discovery of his creative tendency. We were also surprised to find just yesterday that addition facts have been downloaded to his data base. Co-producer, Jamie, was feeling negligent in this area having been working hard on the reading data base and was puzzled to find that Model #3 does not count on his fingers like last generations models. Instead he does some kind of high tech counting in his mind--his father must have programmed this particular area. For the passed few months we have been working on a peculiar malfunction of Model #3--all systems fail when he hears the word "clean."

Fuel Source: recyclables for new projects, games (the kind he makes up where the rules change every 5 minutes), playing alone, lullabies, reading books to mom, and giggling.

JOB CHART

You know how after time your kids get immune to the chore program that worked last month? This is probably our longest working (and smallest) charts we've ever used and it controls computer use too.

In the morning I empty all the chore pockets. As the kids get their work done they put their colored papers in the chore envelope. But the rewards don't stop there (gone are the days it used to be so great just to get your slip of paper in the pocket). There is a sticker for every chore done (we used to do tally marks but it became more of a lesson in honesty) BUT two stickers if you get the job done before school (or 9:00 am in the summer). The stickers equate to minutes on the computer. So now the kids don't accuse me of never letting them play on the computer and the house gets clean (and piano practiced) sometimes even before 9am. The greatest thing about this chart is that generally I don't have to hound the kids to get their work done and they can't play on the computer more than about 1 hour a week (we have so many fights and general irritability with computer use). The bad thing about this chart is that we can't put it high enough that Grant can't reach it, hence, the taped pockets and falling off stickers.

Sisters

I'm so glad to have sisters. Yeah, brothers are great too (I have a couple of good ones) but there's something about sisters that's so nice. I always have the greatest conversations with my sister Katie and being around Emily always makes me laugh a lot--she really is fun. And there's Leigh, who lives about 10 minutes away.

Its kind of funny how you can talk to a sister like to no other. Recently as Leigh and I discussed how to be together with all our kids (8 in all) and not get stressed out, she said something profound, "I think you're harder on my kids than you are on your own." She cited a few examples to get her point across. She could have been rude but she wasn't. (It helps that we both took a communication class in the last few years.) There is probably nobody else in the world who could have (or would have) said that very thing without me feeling really defensive. The thing is--its true. I didn't really see it until she pointed it out but I guess I've known it all along. It didn't make me feel angry or guilty. It has actually been a great help. Though I am not feeling really embarrassed about this new found knowledge (I usually do) I have to apologize to those who I've stressed out for being too hard on your kids (I'm thinking of piano lessons in Oxford). Its really great to have a sister who can be a good enough friend to tell you the truth every once in a while. After all that's what life is all about--getting better, right?