Dec 2

Dear J, K, A, G, K, and B,

Hey I didn't realize youhad two new additions to the family. Two more people for me to watch throughout the day--SNARKLES! (that's equivalent to your yay or hooray).

Did I ever tell you about Marv, the penguin who always walked backward? No, I didn't think I had. Well, Marvander Harold Schnelp, his real name, was born to Clive and Mattie Schnelp on the North Pole. I know, you thought penguins only lived on the South Pole. Its true that there weren't any penguins on the North Pole until the Schnelp and Shiffle families emmigrated 50 years ago. Even to this day they get a little nervous when they hear that explorers are close to the North Pole. We keep reassurring them that they don't need to hide because of the North Pole Security Act which prompted the building of a state of the art sheild that keeps the North Pole invisible. If you sailed near the pole you wouldn't see a city at all, all you'd see is one medium sized iceberg surrounded by water. I know what you're thinking: what happens if the North Pole gets hit by a ship because its surrounded by water? Well, I'll tell you why. Its because of my friends the Hemmboggs, whose only job is to sit around in the water and gently nudge the ships away from the pole. They are huge, soft, strong creatures whose strength together is greater than that of even the largest cargo ship (which clearly stay away from icebergs). The Hemmboggs love the water and are always excited to use their strength, though they are careful to never tip ships over. They are very gentle and sensitive. I've seen them cry when my nephew Gunther accidentally squished an artic pill bug. Hemmboggs are big, gentle, scary looking (at times) cry babies.

Love, YFE
Only 23 days 'til Christmas. Have you gotten any gifts for anyone yet?

Love, YFE (Your Favorite Elf)

Its December 1st and the elf is back. He's been coming to my house ever since I was a little girl for all the days of December leading up to Christmas. Since he's invisible, he somehow leaves a note and 1 candy per child. In order to track his notes and make sure he's keeping his names and stories straight (wink, wink) I've decided to record all 25 notes right here on the blog.

Dear J, K, A and G,

Its so nice to be visiting you again this Christmas season. I hope you don't mind the typing. I just got a new iphone and I'm love it. I find all sorts of time to stop and type a letter to you and the many other families I visit each year. Like when I'm at the grocery store line or at the library waiting for my nephew, Gunther, to pick out a book. He has such a hard time deciding what to read. Any suggestions? He's reading at about a 4th grade level right now. He loves books about normal human life stuff--life without magic. Andy ideas? The North Pole library is so big. There are millions of books there. I wish I could take you to visit it. You can't reach even half of the ten floors of books because the ceilings are so high and as you know elves are a little on the short side. A few years ago Santa installed a Klopfitz on each floor. A Klopfitz is a rare type of elf that has long strethchy arms. If you can't reach the book you want youself, you just give him the call number and he reaches up and grabs it for you. You might wonder why we don't just fly up to it and get it ourselves. Well, that's because there are strict "no flying zones" in certain places on the North Pole. Its kind of like the "no running" rules at your shool. You you know what happens if you do fly in the library? The head librarian, Elsa, takes your libary card and keeps it inside the library vault for 6 whole months--long enough to keep anyone from flying in the library.

If you want treats, you're going to have to write me more often than last year.

Love,
YFE

words from the wise

Grant and his little friend (a girl--they get along really well) were playing the other day when I heard this:

Friend: Grant, don't push me in the chest.

Grant: That's not your chess, this is your chess (points to his shoulder)

Friend: No, that's your elbow.

I get these kinds of conversations a lot with these two.

Remembering Summer School

Sometimes I get these hair-brained ideas about learning a lot in the summer. This last summer we used m friend's Golden Ticket idea and added some other ideas to it. Here's how it works:

After you

1. get ready for the day

2. eat and clean your room

3. do a cleaning job

4. participate in school

then you get a golden ticket, which means you are free to watch TV or play computer. But in order to buy computer time you need to earn fun passes (I know, complicated huh).

Here's how you get 1 fun pass (worth 10 minutes). Any one of these things is worth 1 pass.

• play outside for 30 minutes
• play anything else inside for 1 hour
• read for 30 minutes
• play a game for 30 minutes
• create something for 30 minutes
• do extra cleaning for 20 minutes (generous huh)
• 1 pass for each assignment accomplished at school
  

Also, there was such a pestering about having late nights with friends every single night that I charged the kids 10 fun passes for 1 late night--it worked!

It only lasted the first month of summer since we were only consistently home then.

The one problem was that at least one child (who will remain nameless) consistently forgot to turn in his passes before playing computer and I frequently found them (the passes) scattered all around the house. So I started picking them up and putting them away which resulted in many tears and exclamations of "I had 28 fun passes and now I only have 4." Maybe a little too much refereeing of fun passes on my part. Maybe next year will try a chart. The thing that was great about the passes was that I didn't have to answer that never ending question, "mom, can I play the computer" or be the bad guy because "no" is my usual answer to that question. Instead the kids learned to monitor their own playing and couldn't really play more than an hour a day, unless they really did a lot of other mind using activities.

Halloween Costumes

This year we happened on some very cheap costumes at our local second hand store. Pictures are from yesterdays Trunk-or-treat at the church.

This is Elmo ($2) ..uh...cowboy. Check out his shoes and did you notice his costume is on backwards?
Superman--$3

Katie is an Indian ($4) with Indiana Jordan behind her. Can you see his jump rope whip? Yes, we paid nothing for that costume.

Cooper is some kind of dinosaur--the only costume I made this year (well and Katie's headband)

This Yoda is too young to be ours but isn't little Vinny cute?

Cheese on Plate

Some of us are gourmet cooks and others of us continually forget that cooking is on our daily to do list. Perhaps the latter inspired this question:

Grant:"mom, can I have cheese on pwate?"

Me: "you just want cheese on a plate?"

Grant: "yeah"

Me: "do you want me to put cheese on bread and cook it?" (a lunch staple around here)

Grant: "no, just cheese on plate" in an exasperated voice. (How hard can it be Mom, I didn't say cheese on bread--cheese on plate, duh)

So I cut cheese and put it on a plate

Grant: "I want it cook, Mom."

Me: "you want me to put this in the microwave and cook it?"

Grant: "yeah, cheese on plate, cook." (He never puts -ed on words)

So here it is--cheese on plate! (its a coincidence that its in the shape of a pumpkin)

At first I thought maybe cheese on plate isn't a bad way to go. I mean you can actually just eat the cheese and leave the oil on the plate. That is, until I caught Grant doing this:

We were all eating dinner when I noticed Grant was laying on the carpet in the hall.

Me: "What are you doing Grant?"

Grant: "I'm just laying down for a wittle bit."

Me: "Okay, just don't fall asleep."

Grant: "Okay I won't."

A couple of minutes later