Last night at "meet the teacher night" at school the Kindergarten teacher encouraged parents to limit TV and video games and do interactive types of things with our kids instead. Having just sent her daughter off to college she said with emotion, "You've got to have a good friendship with them now because you can't expect them to all of the sudden want to talk to you at age 14 if you haven't been fostering a relationship from earlier ages." She named specific things to do and suddenly I was daydreaming. I saw myself being a really good mom, going on walks to look for new bugs and birds, sitting down and painting with the kids, and reading out loud to all of them as they sat quietly and laughed at the funny parts. In this daydream the kids were all happy and smiling, nobody was fighting. I even dreamed (as I have several times) that Carl walked into a clean house and found us all happily working on something together. This crazy, unrealistic daydream made me want to work a little harder and plan a few more activities during the week to do with the kids, depending less and less on movies to keep my kids occupied. Just this morning I thought maybe it would be fun to finger paint with Alex and Grant. I mentioned it to Alex who said, "that's boring." When I sat down and got myself a piece of paper he said excitedly, "You're going to do it too? Then I want to do it--that'll be fun." I remember feeling the same thing about playing games with my parents. It made it so much better than just with the kids.
So in between all the housework, blogging, reading, meal preparation and errands I'm going to try to spend a little more time on:
nature walks
reading or being read to
painting
going to the playground
playing games
in short, doing things I usually resist because its sometimes time consuming, messy and often physical exhausting. I'm sure it will get easier the more I do it just like reading Bearenstein Bear books have become easier--I used to hate to read them but now its not such a big deal.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
b.JPG)
6 comments:
Those are great ideas! Now you have me daydreaming. I so wish there was more time in a day! I really could be a great Mom with just a few extra hours.
And, I am glad to hear that Berenstain Bears can get less annoying over time. I'll try to hold out!
Diana (on comment to post above) giving the kids "attention" yes you hit the nail on the head. It reminds me that when Jordan (in particular) is really moody I can almost always track it back to my lack of attention. Okay, so its not my fault that he's always moody but when I am available in hard times he can usually work through his problems better. Sometimes I get on these "stop pestering" rampages and forget to spend time and point out the things the kids are doing well.
Diana, giving your kids attention is what I admire most about you. You seem to have this area of parenting down pat.
I really liked this blog. It reminded me of all of the daydreams that I used to have before I was a mom...and it made me remember to plan to do them. One, sounds a little crazy, but I think it will be fun, was making an ice cream sculpture. I did this with a friend once, and we had a blast. I'm sure a two year old would even have more fun! I need to sing to them more, as well.
Great post! Just this afternoon we spent time reading a new chapter book together. It was so nice. I too am one who thinks of the million of things that I want to get done, but the one thing I NEED to do is spend time with the kids! Thanks for the great reminder! I was cracking up about the idyllic parts! Hey that's why they call it a dream!
Great post, Jamie! I'm sure over time as my family grows I will feel more and more pulled in various directions. It's hard to balance things out. Some days I'm up for the huge mess on the kitchen floor as I let dd "stir" the brownies in preparation for the oven. Other days I cannot handle one more thing on the floor. Hopefully I'll lighten up and enjoy more of those special little moments that come in those less structured playtimes.
Just tonight as I was doing dishes & trying to get things ready for our walk...Ben kept asking me to play with these frog things that jump & I kept telling him I would in a min...then the words to the song "Cats & the Cradle" came in my head...it's the song where the dad says not now son...& then the son grows up just like the dad & the dad then wants a relationship with the boy & the boy tells him not right now...ahhhhh! Well I never did play frogs, but I am at least recognizing when I am not being the best parent I can be...So now I can work on it ;o) I like the teacher...she sounds cool :o)! I hope of all hopes my kids will like me when I am older...I pray they know how much I love them!!
Post a Comment